Well, someone asked me to update my blog which actually i'm too lazy to cos i think no one reads it anyway, but hmm.. i'm kind of freaking out so might as well blog.

Tml early in the morning is my c-section at Thomson. I'll be checking in at 5am.
Am I scared? Yup I think so.
I'm scared about the entire procedure, the afterwards etc etc.

Then I wonder, ah, why am I having a kid? No kids then no worry about all these. Haha.
Hmm. Things to think about while I prepare myself emotionally today.

The only thing is well whatever it is, I can't turn back time. And I am starting to love the little one in me and I do want to see her. I can only pray and hope that indeed God will be more than enough for me.

This is such a scary thing. Think this brings me back to the point of realising that I am just so small again.
Think God must be teaching me something and reminding me about what He said when I first got pregnant.
Alright, think I need to take some time alone soon.

** smiLed aT
8:46 AM



i was just looking back at my old posts and realise I never did talk about my numerous trips after than my honeymoon. Japan, Taiwan, States again, Israel, Hong Kong etc etc.. though some were school trips...

i think i only blog when i'm worried or upset or when it's near school term starting. haha. it's a trend. when v happy, dun bother to blog. haha. so i should blog less means i'm happy. (talking nonsense already)

So here's the typical starting school term post.

Well, this time things are a little different. I'm very concerned about my bb and my tiredness when school term starts cos my last ten weeks have been ok as I'm been home resting when I'm tired and I hardly have more than one activity (2hours out) in a day cos I get tired.
I'm rather concerned on how i'm going to survive this term.
Looking at my timetable, there are days that I have to teach 4 hours out of 5 with only one break in between. I don't think my body can cope.

I don't wish to shout and get angry with my students cos I know it'll affect the baby. So, I plan to be upfront and just tell them that I'm pregnant and that I'm still concerned about their studies but I will NOT torture myself by making myself upset becos of them and tell them that as long as they cooperate, we can do it.
I hope that will work. I believe my 1E and 2E students are actually quite understanding and the rapport has been built. but my 3N. i really don't know how. class of 42. sigh.

Well, I also plan to take the lift more and not carry all the heavy notes and stuff by myself. but that means more curriculum time wasted and effort to walk the students to the staffroom to get it and back.

I also plan to go home early to catch my nap then do work again cos i know i can't last long. I worry about how it will seem if i leave early all the time.

See. So many things to worry about. Plus add on all the other things I used to do on top of just work. my dear body. i hope it can cope. cos my bb must be healthy. =)

Right now, i have still much work to do but my preggy brain doesn't work well nowadays. it shuts down early and gets headache. and i don't sleep too well. Argh!
ok! i'm going to bath soon and hopefully, hopefully can get some work done.
i miss my hubby already. he's been out the whole day like me cos of school. so not used to it after one month. blah blah blah.

** smiLed aT
8:43 PM



What a season. there's been many things that have happened in my life and i look back and am amazed at God's goodness.

I decided that before i start complaining about school starting, I shall take a moment and thank God so that I won't forget. =)

Things I thank God for:
1. My husband's new job with better timing and pay
2. Our new car! 2nd hand (10 mths old) chevrolet
3. Definitely my little bb!! (now 10 weeks pregnant)
4. All the little trips and things that happen before this new season (just to pamper/prepare me)

It's amazing how God brought me through my journey of faith, where in circumstances that seem difficult, nothing is impossible for God. The timing of my husband's change of job, my pregnancy is all so smooth.
I thank God that at least in these 10 weeks, my husband was able to help me and there for me through my bloatedness, grumpiness, nausea etc. I thank God that my third trimester when it'll feel so heavy, i'll be mostly having my nov and dec holidays. I thank God that I get my four months maternity leave! I thank God also for all the trips I had before this (interaction with dolphins/ US/Israel), cos He knows I really love to travel.

It is simply amazing and so much of God's grace! So thank you Father!

*This post will all be thanksgiving!*

** smiLed aT
8:34 PM



At this current moment,

I dislike my job. I dislike the amount of work. I dislike the things that are so troublesome.
I dislike the protocol. I dislike handling the people involved in my line of work.
I dislike it. I don't hate it yet but I dislike it.

I dislike the continuous overwhelming work. I dislike the lack of understanding from people.
I dislike the fact that we are supposed to be super humans.

I dislike not being able to just take a break. I dislike not being able to just say that I'm only human. I dislike not being able to just rest when i badly need it.

I dislike my job now.

** smiLed aT
9:48 AM



I'm ranting. I'm telling you, having a game in the house is the worse!!!!! or rather second worse thing ever.

Why? Why? Why? Why guys did you give us the gaming console?!!!

*roars* *double roar* *triple roar*

I think I'm growing up. independently.
I need to learn to manage my house so that I don't have anything that others can say about me. haha. cos I know my weakness is in housekeeping. And taking care of myself.
And making sure I am not lazy at home. And I need to make sure my words are kind even though I don't feel so! Give me the power of being kind! hahah even if it's fake for the beginning. *roars*

I will. I shall. I can.

P.S: Others probably doesn't refer to you.

I'm going back to do my work! I think I did my share of packing of my own house. oops spotted some things at the display shelf! shall go clear them soon.

** smiLed aT
9:36 AM



Today school finally break for a few days for Chinese New Year.
It's been such a hectic Term 1. There's something almost every day.
I'm like doing work in school, doing work at home. *faint*
AND I should be doing work now, like setting the common test paper that's due after CNY!

But I decided to take a break, research about some stuff and join facebook! all because i wanted to see picture of my friend's son! He's so cute!
haha.

It's now 630pm. Would like to slack but yet will get bored at home. Got to wait for my husband before dinner even though I have a lot of gas in my stomach. Wanted to go out with my friends today but I really haven been spending much time with my husband since school started so I better "guai guai" spend time with him.

I wonder if I'm falling sick. I have all this air in my stomach, have these slight chest spasms or aches once in a while all of a sudden that makes me unable to stretch my upper body straight cos it hurts. But it goes off after like 30 seconds. Hmm. was checking the internet just now. I'm wondering if I have GERD.

I'm thinking if I should see a doctor but it sounds like such a waste of money when I won't take an MC anyway. I hope it clears up soon. I don't like not knowing what's wrong with my body.

I think I quite enjoy this term so far though, the students are generally ok, but I do worry that they will slack off and become disruptive in class especially the two classes that I taught before last year. I think I have to tighten up and clamp down on them once CNY is over. They behave as if it is not their streaming year and that they are just having fun. That's bad bad bad!

Well I hope there's good news =) kk I just hope this CNY will be a fun one. I never like socialising with too many people especially people that I'm not close to. Haha. Yes. Melissa can be a hermit!

Happy CNY or Happy holidays!

** smiLed aT
6:26 PM



I have decided that I owe whoever still bothers to check my blog a proper entry.

What have I been up to like entire year? LIFE.
The usual week goes like this:
Mon - Fri (school til about 4pm)
Occasionally, having meetings after school.
Mondays are usually spent at home with my family or at my in-laws place for dinner.
Tuesdays are usually my "restdays" at home or when I'm not too tired, I'll go down to meet my husband during his break at plaza sing. (He's taking a night course there.)
Wednesdays are sometimes our "paktor" days, but now the day is changed as his g12 group is now on wednesdays.
Thursday used to be another of our "paktor" days, but now the days is changed as it is my g12 group day.
Friday was never our "paktor" day but now since our g12 group time has changed, it is our "paktor" day.

Sat-Sun
Sat mornings are usually spent doing fun things like ice-skating, bowling etc while volunteering at NYP. Sat afternoon-night is usually the time when me and nigel goes to the beach or hang out with friends.
Sun morning is sleeping in! then afternoon is service. Night is just a simple dinner, sometimes with friends.

That's generally a typical week. So am I busy? Yeah I guess some sort. I guess that's why I treasure every moment I have with my husband too cos on not so good weeks, we barely see each other!

I'm glad the holidays are coming. I'm in this stage where I do want to love my students and I try but sometimes it's just so difficult. They say the worse of things and I really wonder why I bother. Sometimes, I don't bother and I wonder if I can only do so little.
Anyway, I hope that in some way somehow, they do feel something or at least not be impacted negatively.

I'm really looking forward to the end of school and to all the admin work and to students. However, I've kena a shiong job which is to teach 3E bridging. Sigh.
I do wish right now that I can just be transported to somewhere by myself. =) I can imagine the tranquility, the peace and the time I can just spend with God. I realise without Him, I am nothing and can do nothing. But in such a LIFE, it's so easy to forget Him.

Well, I'm looking forward to a renewed spirit, to my trip to Malacca (with my in-laws) just for a break, Taiwan (with my students) and the best of all, STATES with my hubby!

gtg meeting now!!!!!!!

** smiLed aT
1:31 PM



I just want to sleep.. hmm i wonder who reads my blog anyway.
but since it's a place of where i vent frustration or give thanks or just update abt my own life.
today is not a good day.
so now i can't sleep. and i'm tired.
i just want to be so tired that when i get back to my bed, i will just sleep.
why can't i just not go school. and be a hermit. yes i think i should be a hermit.
it's good to be alone. sometimes people are just so tiring to be with. oh well.

tralalala

** smiLed aT
12:49 AM