hmm finally finally i am going NZ...

the weekend was hard to pass.. i kept thinking about how i had to give up NZ trip for my family ...
and tried to not show my upsetness ..... n more n more i felt angry also... cos they din seem to bother even asking me about the trip.. they just tried to avoid the topic..

n we finaly toked about it, it was like kind of a touch on the surface with no conclusion etc...

sigh.. it was a tough wkend... me trying to be guai and honour my parents... to obey Him and love them just as He loved me and died for me... but it was soo tough! cos half the time i was like... cant u just let me go this once...
i've always been guai etc.... i realli wan to go...and like thinking why like my sis sometimes dun ask and dun listen but yet get to do everything she wans etc..... sigh..

so anyhow i came back to hall feeling upset and angry that they din seem to care and even give me an answer for the NZ trip... then my dear brought me to the yacht club to san xing ... and scream so i'll feel betta...

but of cos i didnt scream... so finally when i came back i felt betta and decide to just give my mum a call one last time..
so afraid i'll cry again or scream and debate with her... but amazingly i didn't....
heh maybe cos my dear prayed for me and to let God be in ctrl though matter wat ....

so anyhow my mum asked to talk to all the drivers!! thank you my frens for being so nice to come down and talk to my mum... thank you the auntie killer Ree! for assuring my mum and telling her just the truth yet being so frank about the circumstances etc.... so finally my dad said dun pressure my frens so my mum settled on just toking to ree...

my mum finally let me go... and ask me to take the same flight thou more expensive with my frens..
so now just waiting for the air tickets to be settled...

hmm my thoughts.... sometimes it's realli so difficult to give up the things u realli wan..... struggle like siao...
sometimes even difficult to just say God is in ctrl... to just leave it up to Him... but i guess it's realli all in His hands..

I'm just so thankful now that i can go... to noe that even just going for a trip also need His grace =) kk now i just wan to study and then go there and realli take care of myself and call my mum and nig as much as i can to assure them that i'm fine..... NZ here we come! i hope we do have lots of fun and bond too! =)


** smiLed aT
12:13 AM